“Never compliment her without a qualification,” he writes.
“Let her know what you want in a woman and make her explain why she fits those criteria.” “I’m not a psychologist or self-proclaimed expert in the multiple facets of human psychology,” Valdez told Quartz in a phone call.
I’m what’s called a “Closer” for the online-dating service Vi DA (Virtual Dating Assistants).
This messaging “blast” technique may appear lucrative compared to the average neighborhood yenta, but it has occurred to me that good matchmaking may not be in the company’s financial interest. And with Vi DA charging each client anywhere from $495 to $1,695 a month for its services, there is a significant financial incentive to keep them coming back.
Originally a sales guy with no time for “real dates,” Valdez grew Vi DA’s brand out of his own experiences in the dating world.
Once you mix in the vague rules of netiquette and a healthy fear of catfishing scams, it’s easy to see why someone might want to outsource their online-dating profile to a pro, if only to keep themselves sane.
But where does the digital social assistant end and the con artist begin? In November 2017, I ran across an ad seeking “people with good Tinder skills” for a job as a “Virtual Dating Assistant.” At first I thought it was a joke, but I completed their online form out of pure fascination. Apparently, professional writers make for good online-dating assistants; knowing how to seduce strangers with the written word is the company’s mandate, after all.
, and are loaded with his personal insights into the primal female brain. “There’s no question about it,” reads one chapter, “women want to date the alpha male.
They are naturally drawn to the ‘leader of the pack.’” Valdez elaborates later in the manual: “The alpha male is the .” But how do you present yourself as an Alpha?
The matches I speak to on behalf of the Texan man and other clients have no idea they’re chatting with a professional.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that these ghostwriting services exist.
Before Tinder normalized “DTF” (“Down To Fuck”) as an opening salute, Valdez would send copy-and-pasted pick-up lines to dozens of women a day and track their effectiveness on spreadsheets.
“Online dating is a numbers game,” he would write in the Vi DA training manual years later.
From there, after the client has approved the message, a one-liner blitz will rain down on dozens of dating sites, targeting hundreds of women with the word “travel” in their profiles.