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When I would be cooking, he would come and stand next to me and just stare. Universities too have mostly same-sex housing for students, and women can only sit next to another man on intercity buses or trains if he is her partner.This means that women and men don’t interact in all aspects of the word growing up and then, naturally, have skewed outlooks on dating and sex.

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When my partner and I first arrived in Turkey, we stayed with a pair of uni students.

These two young guys would have big groups of their male buddies over most nights but I never saw a single woman.

Under President Erdoğan’s leadership (whose party AKP has held government for 12 years), the conservatives have become more powerful and visible than ever before, and use sexual politics as one of the most important tools to control society.

On September 15, Ismail Akkiraz, the vice chairman of the über-conservative Saadet Party, told a crowd during a speech that, “due to the AKP’s inadequate policies, our youth do not know how to practice ablution, and 60% go around [not showering after sex].” A few weeks later, on October 1, Selman Ada, the new manager of the Turkish State Opera and Ballet, said that employees (besides the ballet dancers) can no longer wear “athletic wear, tight cotton shorts, tights, stretch jeans, sandals, slippers, spiked high heels, formal evening gowns” to work.

He also told me that if a girl and a boy are friends, pretty soon one of them will develop a romantic interest in the other.

Religion is of course the major player of why this is the case.

Men see women as possessions and as many women grow up being treated like princesses, they develop unrealistic expectations of men.

And as women are told that ‘sleeping around’ is sinful, they either don’t do it, do it in secret, or shame women who are more sexually liberal than them.

To put it more simply, they constantly obsess over what they don’t have.

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